This post probably is more suited for Thanksgiving, but it wasn’t ready to go then. Thus, I’m keeping the thankful spirit alive this week and, I hope, every week.
I sometimes forget how far I’ve come in the past year. This year has had difficult moments, but last year? Last year was a year of brokenness. The breaking was necessary. I needed to be stripped of certain things, namely a relationship and some clients. It only was through losing those things that I became teachable. I learned what I would and would not accept in a relationship, both personally and professionally. I learned where I did and did not need to change – alas, I probably am more stubborn than I ever was. I also learned what it was that I wanted and was meant to do, and it was to draw and write and to help people become better communicators.
This year, though, has tested that certitude. I’ve had more days where I question what I’m doing than I care to count. I’ve had some days where I threaten demolition to Write Right. Even thinking the thought makes me wince; it seems like a betrayal. I don’t think Write Right is done, at least not yet. It will have to be tweaked in some ways, but it isn’t finished. The fact that I have plans in place for the new year testifies to the fact.
It’s on the days I contemplate quitting that I am thankful for all of you, the ones who chat with me on Facebook even though the conversations probably seem to be on repeat. I am so, so thankful for you and for you listening to me. I am thankful for the ones who have journeyed with me this past year; they can see how I’ve grown much better than I can. I trust their perspectives because I trust them. I know they won’t say things just to make me feel better. I’m also thankful for the new people who have arrived. Some of them don’t know me well or that long, but they keep telling me to do what I’m doing. They seem to see what I cannot, and that, that gives me hope and steels my resolve.
This is a lovely post! I don’t think we need to have a special season to be thankful- it is always a great thing to express. What you say is so true- sometimes you just have to strip everything out of your life and get down to the bare bones to see who you are and what you are made of. Which is some pretty tough stuff, by the by. I am glad you can look back and see how far you have come. A very rewarding feeling.
RebeccaTodd No, we don’t need a special season. Some of my friends and I have been talking about that.
It is a rewarding feeling. I know it doesn’t do to dwell on the past too much, but looking back sometimes can be a good thing.
Erin F. RebeccaTodd There is a huge difference between the two. I feel the setting for dwelling has you still firmly place in the midst of it, where looking back implies a distance and perspective. Sometimes I catch myself dwelling for a moment, then just force some perspective and don’t beat myself up about it.
RebeccaTodd I have to do the same. The dwelling pushes me toward perspective (once I stop being completely self-absorbed) and reminds me why I’ll do things differently in the future.
You know you can always call me. 😀
jasonkonopinski I may take you up on that.
@Erin F I’d love that.
It’s amazing how much difference a year makes. It sounds like you’ve grown more than you ever thought you needed to. I understand that. In my experience, seasons of transformation can be uncomfortable to say the least. The beautiful news is that those seasons lead to glorious new ones.
Thank you for being so open. I see more of your heart with each post. I’m loving it. I cannot wait to see what amazing things are in store for you my dear. It is going to be B-I-G.
kateupdates Thank you, miss.
To big things!
You know how proud I am of the progress you’ve made, and how much more growth and progress is yet in store for you. It’s OK to have those “throw it all away” moments. They allow us to fully experience what that loss or vacuum might feel like, reflect upon it, and make our decisions from there. Life’s a roller coaster: we just need to weather the ups and downs, revel and focus in the moment, and love the ride we create for ourselves. Cheers! Kaarina
KDillabough Indeed. Your thoughts may get some more attention in a future post about staying the course. It’s written, but it needs some final editing.
I’m working on the tagline, which is proving to be far harder than I thought it would. Actually, that’s not true. One reason I chose not to go into advertising was that I hate writing headlines and titles. Maybe that’s part of the problem…
You have come a long way. It’s amazing what time does to us. We just need to look back or smile and look ahead and feel good!
Hajra Thank you, Hajra! Are you in the final weeks of this semester?
Erin F. Hajra yes! Have my exams going now. Trying to read posts I have missed! Have 300 posts in my reader.
Hajra Good luck with the reading! I actually don’t use a reader. I just never was able to make the use of one into a habit.
It’s hard for me to say how far you’ve come, but I like where you are. And probably where you’re going!
barrettrossie Well, thanks! I think you’ll like where Write Right is going. It will dovetail nicely with the mystery document.
barrettrossie Ditto!
magriebler Thank you, Marianne! barrettrossie
If it makes you feel any better,I thought about pulling the blog exit myself today. It’s a very common thing. I’m just tired right now. Frustrated. Normal human experience, right? The difference between winning and losing is moving forward. Move forward. You did, you’re on the other side. Congratulations!
geoffliving Thanks!
Kaarina compared the motion to a roller coaster. I’m more fond of sailing imagery. Some days it’s easy going; some day it’s incredibly hard, breathtakingly so. When you’re in the middle of those sorts of storms, you have to hold tight. Make it through the storm, evaluate the repairs (maybe even get a new ship if necessary) that need to be made, pull into a harbor for a bit, prepare for the next storm. It’s going to come. I guess that could be seen as a negative thing, but I think the storms make you appreciate the days when the sailing is easy.
I hope your upcoming time off with your girls will be restful and just the thing you need.
geoffliving Also, I’m glad you’re continuing with your blog. I enjoy reading it.
geoffliving Normal human experience indeed. I’m here to cheerlead you on! 🙂
You’re not a quitter. Change is good, so, if you want to make a change then your friends will support you. I think CraigMcBreen said it very well recently, “Refuse to be a servant to the past. Simply appreciate the lessons you’ve learned and move on.”
rdopping CraigMcBreen Yes, that’s a good way to put it.
I look at things this way: if you aren’t growing, you’re dying. The concept applies in one’s personal life and in the business world. Some changes are going to be made at Write Right so that growth can occur. Write Right isn’t going away by any means. It’s just shedding another skin.
Erin F. rdopping “if you aren’t growing, you’re dying” … so true! Forge ahead. Life and business is full of “dips” and we all stumble and doubt ourselves sometimes. It’s called being human. But I think you’re a tenacious soul, so just keep doing what you do 🙂
Craig McBreen rdopping I like how people don’t call me stubborn. It’s “tenacious” or “determined.”
geoffliving said the same thing about continuing to do what I’m doing. I must be doing something right if all of you keep saying to forge ahead. I suppose I know that, but some affirmation always is nice.
Erin F. rdopping CraigMcBreen what? just like a reptile? Ha!
rdopping CraigMcBreen Exactly. The image seemed more appropriate than a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. 🙂
rdopping Yes! Let the past go and kick it into gear!
Dear Erin. I see now why your comment at my house today is so spot-on. I’m sorry you’ve experienced this growth pain; yet, look what happened when you turned the corner — another petal blossomed on your journey. Good for you and better even that you shared your catharsis.
You’re not done yet, by any stretch!! Keep on!!!!
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Thank you.
I have no desire to repeat any lessons, but I can be grateful for what I’ve learned from them. At least, now I can be.
I will continue forward. I’m looking forward to implementing some of the changes I’ve been considering and planning the past few weeks.
It will be fun to follow all the things you’ll be doing in the new year.
Hang. In. Remember Victor Frankl “What is to give light is to endure burning.” This helps me, sometimes.
jennwhinnem That’s a beautiful quote. Thank you for sharing it with me.