The first problem of any kind of limited success is the unshakeable conviction that you are getting away with something, and that any moment now they will discover you. – Neil Gaiman, “Make Good Art”
When I was accepted into graduate school, I was more than a little stunned. I had submitted what I now call “baby” poems. If they were to be placed alongside some of my more current and ostensibly more mature work, they would be thought to have been written by a different poet.
In a way, they were. They were written by someone who had only recently been introduced to the world of poetry. I had no concrete idea of how to make a poem. I only knew that poetry was my art and that both I and my poetry were ready to grow and change.
Those thoughts and doubts accompanied me to workshops and classes. They caused me to feel like I was getting away with something. I was certain the students who had studied philosophy and theory in undergrad were going to discover me “any moment now” and declare me a charlatan.
Enter a professor who believed in me and saw my potential. She never once doubted me, and she told me to quit doubting myself. She said I needed to be confident because I did have valuable things to say – she, of course, knowing this as the recipient of my essays, poems, and thesis.
Her perspective helped, but I still had to find my own way toward a sense of confidence. Have I found it? I don’t know, but I keep working on my craft and trust that the work will speak for itself.
Image: Steven Depolo (Creative Commons)