This post probably is more suited for Thanksgiving, but it wasn’t ready to go then. Thus, I’m keeping the thankful spirit alive this week and, I hope, every week.
I sometimes forget how far I’ve come in the past year. This year has had difficult moments, but last year? Last year was a year of brokenness. The breaking was necessary. I needed to be stripped of certain things, namely a relationship and some clients. It only was through losing those things that I became teachable. I learned what I would and would not accept in a relationship, both personally and professionally. I learned where I did and did not need to change – alas, I probably am more stubborn than I ever was. I also learned what it was that I wanted and was meant to do, and it was to draw and write and to help people become better communicators.
This year, though, has tested that certitude. I’ve had more days where I question what I’m doing than I care to count. I’ve had some days where I threaten demolition to Write Right. Even thinking the thought makes me wince; it seems like a betrayal. I don’t think Write Right is done, at least not yet. It will have to be tweaked in some ways, but it isn’t finished. The fact that I have plans in place for the new year testifies to the fact.
It’s on the days I contemplate quitting that I am thankful for all of you, the ones who chat with me on Facebook even though the conversations probably seem to be on repeat. I am so, so thankful for you and for you listening to me. I am thankful for the ones who have journeyed with me this past year; they can see how I’ve grown much better than I can. I trust their perspectives because I trust them. I know they won’t say things just to make me feel better. I’m also thankful for the new people who have arrived. Some of them don’t know me well or that long, but they keep telling me to do what I’m doing. They seem to see what I cannot, and that, that gives me hope and steels my resolve.